What to Say During Potty Training: Simple Scripts for Parents

Potty training advice often tells you what to do.

Take your toddler to the toilet. Respond calmly to accidents. Encourage them when they make progress.

But what do you actually say?

When your toddler refuses to sit, has an accident or asks for their nappy to do a poo, it can be surprisingly difficult to find the right words in the moment.

What we say during potty training matters. We want toddlers to understand what's happening without making wees and poos feel like something they need to perform for us.

Here are some simple phrases you can use.

What to Say When Introducing the Toilet

Before expecting your toddler to use the toilet, start helping them understand what it's for.

Keep your language simple and factual.

You might say:

• "Wees and poos go in the toilet."

• "Mummy/Daddy is doing a wee."

• "You're sitting on the toilet."

• "Let's see if a wee or poo comes."

You don't need to repeatedly ask your toddler to produce something. You're simply helping them make connections between their body, wees and poos, and the toilet.

What to Say When It's Time for a Toilet Sit

There's an important difference between asking:

"Do you want to sit on the toilet?"

and calmly telling your toddler what's happening:

"It's toilet time."

If sitting on the toilet is part of your toddler's normal routine, you don't necessarily need to turn it into a question every time.

Try:

• "It's toilet time, then we'll get dressed."

• "We'll sit on the toilet, then it's bath time."

• "Let's go and sit on the toilet."

Keep your voice relaxed and matter-of-fact.

The toilet doesn't need to become a big event.

What to Say When Nothing Happens

Your toddler sits...

And nothing happens.

This is completely normal, particularly when you're first starting. Avoid showing disappointment or encouraging them to sit for longer in the hope that they'll eventually wee.

Simply say:

• "No wee this time."

• "All done."

• "We'll try again later."

Then move on with your day. A toilet sit hasn't been unsuccessful just because your toddler didn't wee. They're still learning the routine.

What to Say When Your Toddler Does a Wee on the Toilet

It's very tempting to make the first toilet wee a huge celebration, but big reactions can sometimes be too much for little ones. If they're sitting quietly and suddenly everyone cheers, claps or becomes very excited, it can take them by surprise or even startle them. Keeping your reaction warm but calm helps toilet wees feel positive without turning them into a big event.

 Instead, help your toddler understand what just happened.

You might say:

• "You did a wee in the toilet!"

• "Your wee came out and went into the toilet."

• "You felt your wee coming and put it in the toilet."

Your words help connect the physical experience with what your toddler is learning.

What to Say After an Accident

Accidents are part of potty training. Your toddler isn't being naughty and doesn't need to feel embarrassed about what happened. Keep your response neutral and useful.

Try:

• "You've done a wee on the floor. You're wet."

• "Wees go in the toilet. Let's get you dry."

• "Your pants are wet. Let's change them."

Then clean up and move on.

You don't need to say:

"Never mind!"

"It's okay!"

or

"Don't worry!"

An accident doesn't need to be treated as something upsetting that requires reassurance. It can simply be information: you did a wee, you're wet, let's sort it out.

What to Say When You Notice Your Toddler Needs a Wee

Once nappies are off, you may begin recognising your toddler's signals before they do.

Perhaps they suddenly go quiet, grab themselves, wriggle or start doing their familiar "wee dance."

Rather than repeatedly asking:

"Do you need a wee?"

you can help them notice what's happening.

Try:

• "I can see your body is telling you something."

• "It looks like you need a wee. Let's go to the toilet."

• "You're holding yourself. Your wee might be coming."

Over time, the aim is for your toddler to begin recognising these signals themselves.

What to Say When Your Toddler Says "No"

Toddlers say no. A lot.

And the toilet is no exception. If every toilet visit becomes a negotiation, resistance can quickly grow. Keep your response calm and avoid getting drawn into a long discussion.

Depending on the situation, you might say:

• "I know you don't want to. It's toilet time."

• "Okay, you let me know when you need the toilet."

• "You don't want to stop playing. We'll come straight back afterwards."

You're acknowledging how they feel without turning the boundary into a debate.

What to Say When Your Toddler Asks for a Nappy to Poo

If your toddler will wee on the toilet but asks for a nappy to poo, give them the nappy.

Don't turn it into a battle.

You could simply say:

• "You need a poo. Here's your nappy."

• "You can have your nappy to do your poo."

This might feel like going backwards, but it isn't.

Your toddler has recognised that they need to poo and communicated that need to you. Those are valuable skills.

Refusing the nappy before they're comfortable pooing on the toilet can encourage them to hold their poo instead, which can contribute to constipation and make the transition harder. You can work gradually on moving poos to the toilet once your toddler is comfortably and regularly pooing.

What Not to Say During Potty Training

You don't need to analyse every sentence that comes out of your mouth.

But there are a few types of language I'd avoid making part of your potty training routine.

Try to avoid:

• "You're a big girl/boy now."

• "Babies wear nappies."

• "Why didn't you tell me?"

• "You know where wees go."

• "You've had another accident."

• "Just try."

• "Sit there until you've done a wee."

These phrases can introduce pressure, shame or expectations that aren't particularly helpful for a toddler who is still learning.

Potty training is a skill. Treat mistakes in the same way you would while your toddler was learning any other new skill, like getting dressed or learning to use cutlery.

You Don't Need to Constantly Talk About the Toilet

Once parents start potty training, it's very easy for wees and poos to dominate the day.

"Do you need a wee?"

"Are you sure?"

"Do you need to try?"

"When did you last go?"

"Tell Mummy if you need a wee."

Repeated reminders can become background noise and, for some toddlers, create unnecessary pressure.

Give your toddler opportunities to notice their own body rather than constantly doing the noticing for them. The eventual goal isn't a child who uses the toilet because an adult reminds them every hour. It's a child who recognises their own body's signals and responds to them.

Keep Your Language Calm, Clear and Consistent

There isn't one magical sentence that makes potty training work.

What matters more is the overall way you communicate.

Keep your language:

• simple

• factual

• consistent

• age appropriate

• free from shame

Your toddler doesn't need to be persuaded to potty train.

They need help understanding what their body is doing and what they're learning to do with that information.

This is something I go into much more deeply inside Potty Pros Academy, including practical guidance on what to say during different stages and common potty training challenges. Having the words ready beforehand can make it much easier to respond calmly when you're actually in the moment.

FAQs

Should I praise my toddler for using the toilet?

You can absolutely acknowledge what they've done.

Rather than making toilet use dependent on rewards or enormous celebrations, try descriptive language such as, "You did your wee in the toilet!"

This helps your toddler understand what happened without making toilet use something they need to do to earn a reward.

Should I ask my toddler if they need a wee?

Sometimes, but repeatedly asking throughout the day can result in your toddler automatically saying "no" and means you're doing much of the body awareness work for them.

As potty training progresses, give them opportunities to recognise and communicate the sensation themselves.

What should I say when my toddler has an accident?

Keep it simple and neutral.

"You've done a wee. You're wet. Let's get you changed."

You can remind them that wees go in the toilet without showing anger or disappointment.

What if my toddler refuses to sit on the toilet?

Avoid turning the toilet into a prolonged argument or physically forcing your toddler to sit.

Consider why the resistance is happening and keep your language calm and predictable. If refusal becomes an ongoing problem, you may need to adjust how you're approaching toilet sits rather than simply becoming more persistent.

What does Potty Pros Academy teach parents to say?

Potty Pros Academy doesn't just explain the practical steps of potty training. It also gives parents guidance on how to communicate throughout the process, including accidents, resistance, wees, poos and common challenges.

If You Haven't Started Yet (Or Want It to Feel Easier)

The language you use is only one part of preparing your toddler for potty training. There are several things you can begin doing before nappies come off to make the transition easier.

That's exactly why I created my free guide 5 Things to Do Before Starting Potty Training. It walks you through five simple ways to start building your toddler's awareness, confidence and understanding before you remove nappies.